Brother and sister

One of the best things about Jonathan and Vivienne's developing language skills is listening to them communicate to/about one another.  Now, both being toddlers, they have plenty of moments like yesterday morning where their wants and desires end up being at odds with each other.  Jonathan had woken up happy and looked ready to greet the day, hanging with mommy and daddy.  But then, we heard Vivienne wake up.  Now, usually Jonathan loves to have Vivienne up and about -- so much so that at times we lock her door while she's taking a nap so he can't go in and wake up his favorite playmate before she's ready -- but for some strange reason, when she woke up yesterday, he got really weepy and started moaning, ""No Vivienne wake up.  No Vivienne down."  My only guess is he thought he could get some one-on-one mommy and/or daddy time and was disappointed to find out that wasn't the case.

On the other hand, both being toddlers, they also have plenty of the other kind of moments, the ones where they are completely on the same wavelength and absolutely delight in each other's presence.  Last night was such a time.  Jonathan was climbing on and off the changing table.  At one point, he stopped just a step from the bottom and said, "Stuck."  Now, there was no way he was actually stuck, but then he said, "Vivienne, help."  I offered to help him, but he insisted it be Vivienne.  Vivienne put out her little hand and held his hand like I do when they need just a tiny bit of help getting down from a chair or some such place.  Jonathan grasped her hand and proceeded to get down all by himself and then said, "Dank ooo" or some such toddler version of "Thank you."  They both laughed and then did it all over again.

I love seeing the two of them together -- that is, when I am not negotiating who gets to play with what toy when (the idea of "my turn" definitely comes before the idea of "your turn" in child development) or trying to convince him that it wasn't nice to push her down for no reason at all or her that we shouldn't hit people even if they take our stuff.  Stephen wondered the other day how Vivienne would be different if she had been the oldest child, and I wonder the same thing at times.  I am so glad she wasn't.  I am so glad that God not only gave the kids to us but that He also gave them to each other.  I love my Taiwan twins and I love seeing how God's plan is unfolding in our family as a whole, no matter how crazy and disorganized we might be.

They had so much fun playing peek-a-boo together the other
day.  That is to say, they had so much fun once the debate of
who got to use which blanket had been resolved by mommy.

And that's one of the most exciting things about baby David, too.  It's great for me to have another baby to love, but I am most excited to see what these three will be to each other as they grow and come to know each other.  I pray that they will be a blessing to each other now and always, just as I was blessed to grow up with my brother Jonathan.  (Yes, we named our son after my brother.  No, it hasn't been a problem to date because other than a few weeks a year and a half ago, they've been on different continents all of little Jonathan's life.  We shall see what happens when we finally make it to the U.S., but I'm guessing we'll manage.)

They both adore their new little brother already -- so much so
that is was a miracle I managed to get this shot amid the squabbles
about who got to lie next to the baby.

Summer Summary

Well, so much for posting once a month.  The whole summer has gone by since my last post, a summer filled with lots of fun things and milestones.  The biggest is our new addition, but that's for the next post.

Cupcakes, markers, and sunglasses = lots of fun at home.

And, of course, finger painting is lots
of fun, too.  Jonathan wanted to stop
and wipe the paint off his fingers and
body after each attempt.  Vivienne
didn't mind the mess and had more fun
painting herself than the paper.

There's been a whole lot of talking going on in the Clark home as both kids have become more and more comfortable with language(s).  We're still a bit away from full, spontaneous sentences, but they definitely know how to get their points across -- most of the time, at least.  (I still have no idea what he was asking for and wailing about at bedtime tonight, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't compatible with bedtime anyway so he wouldn't have been happy even if I did understand.)  If you want to be truly entertained, listen to an almost-three-year-old who doesn't know what at least half the words mean in the Veggie Tales theme song try to sing along to it.  Vivienne thinks that she is as old as Jonathan and should be able to do everything he can do, so her language development is almost as far as long as his is, though his vocabulary is more extensive.  They now carry on wonderful little conversations with each other and keep each other entertained better than ever.  On the other hand, over the summer, Vivienne has really grown from being a baby to being an out-and-out toddler, complete with toddler tantrums from time to time when she doesn't get her way.  For the most part, however, the girl is an absolute sweetheart, charming all who come her way, but sometimes Jonathan gets caught off-guard when he discovers that his little sister isn't quite as much a malleable pushover as she used to be!

Being pregnant with two toddlers was rather wearing, but despite there being a bit too much iPad and DVD use, we still managed to have some fun.

Jonathan and daddy enjoy our fried rice picnic before church,
Vivienne finally learns how to swing by herself, and when there's
a stroller involved, Vivienne doesn't mind being pushed around
by her brother.

While the big people watched a super-late night Wimbledon
final, the little people thoroughly enjoyed a rousing game of
peek-a-boo curtains at Uncle Mike's school.

We also had some special visitors from England.  Stephen's parents and brother came and spent a week with us as part of their trip to Hong Kong for his cousin's wedding.  The kids had a lot of fun getting to spend time with grandparents and Uncle Tim.

We got to go down to the south of Taiwan and spent time at a missionary retreat center there with yummy food and a huge play room.  We also spent a day at the beach.

Jonathan loves the ocean from a safe distance, but he's still
not too keen on the water or the sand up close and personal.

Vivienne was a big braver from the safety of mommy's arms,
 but it will still be a while before either of them are beach lovers.
  They did like playing in the sand from the safety of the beach
 blanket, though, so that was a start.

One of the highlights from the trip, for me at least, was getting to take the kids to the Aquarium.  We took them there a year and a half ago when my family was in town, but though Jonathan appreciated it somewhat, Vivienne was too young for it.  This year, they both thought it was great.  Jonathan loves fish and sharks and all things water in his books at home, so I really wanted him to see them for himself.  He slept through about half the first afternoon there, so I thought that it would be fun if he and I got to have some special time together and go back again, just the two of us.  We had a blast, even if he was too afraid to wade in any of the water features by himself.  He especially loved looking for the sharks and the whales, though his favorite things were the gift shop, the ocean view on the walk between buildings, the sunglasses and bubbles we got in the gift shop, and -- best of all -- a sink just his size he got to wash his hands in several times (in a row).  And, of course, he loved the ice chocolate and the chicken nuggets.  All in all, it was a great day just hanging out with my sweet boy.

The biggest change this summer (apart from the newcomer, of course) has been SCHOOL!  When we found out that Jonathan's immigration will probably be keeping us in Taiwan longer than we initially had planned, we thought that it would be a good idea to get as much Chinese into him as possible since we have this great learning opportunity being here.  (We're still not sure how we're going to keep it up when we go back, but that's a question for another day.)  As it so happens, the parents of some students at the cram school where I teach run a school just two blocks away from our house that does everything from infant day care through after school for elementary school.  Our sleeping schedule as a family pretty much goes with the afternoon/evening schedule of Stephen and me and any attempt to get kids or parents up in the mornings has failed miserably, so we aren't really good candidates for traditional nursery school schedules.  However, my boss helped work it out with the school and our kids go for just a few hours in the afternoons after the other kids get up from their naps.  It works out great for us, and we really aren't worried about actual class time since Jonathan's just there to be immersed in Chinese.  We figure he knows his alphabet, can count to 14 or so, knows his shapes, and knows his colors -- but all in English.  At not yet three, we figure that's doing pretty good.  We were initially just going to send him, but they have classes for Vivienne's age since they start with little babies, and her language skills are almost up to his since she doesn't actually realize she's a year younger than he is.  Also, they do better together so it makes getting them off to school so much easier.

Although they screamed and cried a lot the first week, the school took it all in stride (because I am sure they were not the first toddlers to have a bit of separation anxiety) and both were always playing happily when we got them.  We started a couple of weeks before the baby came, so they were used to it by the time he got here.  By now, they go off each day with few complaints, and we have noticed a bit more Chinese working itself into their language.  The other day, I got Jonathan a cup of water and he told me "xie-xie ni" (thank you in Chinese), so at least he's learning his manners there!

These fish live outside the wedding photo shop across
from the school and are quite popular with the Clark kids.

A few tidbits from Babyland, May 2013

These are more just a few random, insignificant observations, more appropriate for Facebook status updates than a blog, but, as usual, it's been a while since I've written anything here and I want to get something down.

1.  It's a good thing I am secure in the knowledge of Jonathan's absolute love for his mommy, because 9 times out of 10 when I ask for a kiss he shakes his head "no" and goes on being busy doing whatever it is he's been doing.  Vivienne, on the other hand, will lift her face to be kissed 9 times out of 10 when asked -- and she often lifts it up repeatedly for kisses.  The happy-joy dance when I got back from America, however, left no doubt at all about this little boy's love for his mommy.

And, of course, he loves his daddy, too.

2.  Maybe girls really are sweeter than boys.  This past week, Vivienne has been waking up with yet more mosquito bites each and every morning all over her face and body whereas Jonathan, who sleeps in the same room, has none.  Mosquitoes are more a winter thing here in Taiwan, but I've definitely still seen some around recently so I guess no one has told them that.  My poor little girl looks like she's been breaking out in adolescence pimples about a decade or so too early, but other than that, they don't seem to be actually bothering her at all.  (Jonathan's more a heat/diaper rash boy himself.  Ah, the joys of living in a tropical summer.)
(Update:  It now looks like the "bites" are pimples as Vivienne's skin re-adjusts to the hot and humid Taiwan summer after two dry, cold weeks in America.  At any rate, it's not bugging her at all and should clear up soon, and it's nice to know she's not being eaten alive every night.  She's still a super sweet kid, though.)

The sweetest face in the house, before the most recent
mosquito attack.

3.  Speaking of tropical summers, the rainy season is on us in earnest now, and Jonathan is not a fan -- at least, he's not a fan of the sound the heavily falling rain makes on the air-conditioning unit in his room.  If it's relatively early when the rain comes, he's allowed to sit up on daddy's lap for a while until it passes.  Last night, however, it came at 4 am (a time daddy and mommy would rather be sleeping), and even his music, Baby Giraffe & Co., pacifier, and overhead light were no match for the tears.  As a last resort, we put him to bed with the iPad.  Apparently, Mickey and Dora videos and various puzzles and games chase the fear of rainstorms away and everyone ended up getting the sleep they needed -- but I think it's going to be a long, long rainy season.
(While I'm doing updates, we managed two rain-wake-ups last night without iPad therapy, so maybe there is hope for the rainy season.)

The most spoiled kids on the block -- on our recent trip to
America, grandpa got Vivienne her own iPad (though mommy
gets most use of it).  Aren't I lucky.  Now I can listen to two
different episodes of Dora at once.

Travel plans ...

Well, no turning back now.  Last weekend, I booked a flight to America for me, who will be about six months pregnant, with a toddler riding on my lap the whole way -- and we're leaving in about a week.  Ahhh!  (That is meant to be taken as both an excited scream and a terrified one.)

Travel plans have been up in the air around here to say the least.  It has been probably 4 or 5 years since I've been back to America, and though my mother and brother have come to Taiwan, my father hasn't.  Originally, we thought that Stephen and I and the babies would go back in August to coincide with one of my cousins getting married, but "next baby" has decided that August was when he wanted his birthday to be, so that plan got scrapped.  Then, we thought we would coordinate with my brother's vacation at the end of April, still going as a family, but my father's health has been tenuous these past few months and they've been exploring various medical options and he didn't think he could take the chaos of two toddlers in the non-toddler-proofed house.  Although I want everyone to see everyone else, I breathed a little sigh of relief because Jonathan isn't cleared for an immigration visa into the US until November, and though Taiwanese have visa-free entry status now, we would need to bring all sorts of documents proving our ties to Taiwan and our intention to return with my Taiwanese son and British husband.  I did not look forward to dealing with immigration with two toddlers after a 15-hour or so flight, especially since we would also probably need to catch a connecting flight afterwards.  Then there's the fact that Jonathan is now over two and tickets are definitely not cheap at the moment, so that wasn't fun either.

Somewhere along the line someone (I think my husband) suggested that I go home by myself, which got modified to Vivienne and I going by ourselves since 1) People would get to see one baby.  2) Just Vivienne is much less stress on my dad than Vivienne and Jonathan would be together.  3)  Jonathan's going to dreadfully miss mommy and Vivienne since he's too young to understand what's going on, but he would do much better with just daddy than Vivienne would.  4) Vivienne would be much easier to handle traveling than Jonathan would be (except for that doesn't-get-a-seat-of-her-own bit). 5) As a "lap baby," her ticket costs a couple hundred dollars instead of well over a thousand like the rest of us.  and 6) She and I both travel on American passports, so immigration should be a cinch (which is good, because the flight we ended up booking really doesn't have much time between planes for the American connection).

Of course, things were still not decided.  My parents were still unsure of my dad's healthcare schedule, and I wasn't sure that I would be able to find travel health insurance that would cover me as an American visiting America and in the second trimester of pregnancy.  However, I mentioned this to my boss.  She had trouble once traveling while pregnant and is totally scared for me traveling while pregnant by myself with a toddler, but she came up with a solution anyway.  She could help me buy travel insurance from a father of two of our school's students, and it covered her when she was pregnant and had to go to the hospital.  I had her check if it would cover me since I'm not Taiwanese, and she sent me a message to say it would, so hopefully that's all set.  I'll talk to her about it on Monday or Tuesday.  (And oh gosh, I hope I don't have to use it.  Not only would it be bad to have anything go wrong with either Vivienne or me health-wise, I would have no idea how to actually file any reimbursement claims!)  Despite all this, I was still thinking it would be easier not to go, but my mom called last night and said that my dad's hospital stay would not be until May if it's going to happen at all and my dad said he thought he could handle us for a low-key visit, and so, I took the plunge and booked the tickets.

Since we waited so long, I am in a middle seat with a toddler on the first really long leg of the journey (from Taiwan to Japan to Detroit), so I am really not looking forward to that, but what's done is done and most likely we will all survive, as will those next to me -- though they will probably not be too thrilled about it, either.  I'm also a bit concerned about how Jonathan's going to take it all, but we'll FaceTime him every day if we can -- and hope he doesn't turn us off to use the other iPad apps as fast as he turns off grandparents.  I think he'll miss Vivienne as much -- or more -- than he'll miss me.  But he loves his daddy and we're leaving him the iPad (and the bubbles) and we'll pray for him lots, so I think he'll survive.

Our Adoption Story in a Nutshell

A Facebook page I like, the Archibald Project, posted a question: "At what point in your life did you decide to adopt? What were the reasons?! We want to hear from YOU!"  

Well, surprise, surprise, my answer was a bit long for a comment on a Facebook page (though I posted it anyway), so I thought I would post it here since it's our adoption story in a nutshell.  I'm still working on the longer version, but that may take a while.

As a child, I loved babies and younger children and knew lots of adopted kids, so it was pretty normal.  I also used to love the book, The Family Nobody Wanted, about a family who kept themselves opened to helping kids and ended up with a dozen or more.  So I think I was always opened to the idea.  My husband isn't really a kid person, but he's a theological one and knows that God loves adoption so we had talked about it as something we wanted to do.  However, we are from two different countries and living in a third so we didn't think it would be something for this period in our lives.  A pastor we know with four kids wasn't pursuing adoption, but his family said "yes" when asked and I always said it would be nice if that happened to us -- someone just said, "Here's a baby that needs a home.  How about you?" without all the paperwork and agencies, etc.  Low and behold, my husband preached a sermon on Ephesians 1 in our tiny English speaking church (in Taiwan).  In it, he mentioned our desire to adopt "one day," and a Taiwanese friend who visits from time to time came up to him after the service and said, "I know a baby."  He then came up to me with the same news -- and called the grandma and told her about us and called us back and said she wanted to meet us if we were interested.  And ... less than a month after that sermon, our "first born" came into our family at 4 months old (though two years later we are only finished one out of three countries' worth of paperwork).  So, maybe it was decided back a long time ago or maybe it was decided a week before we became parents and actually went through with it.  I'm not sure.  I do know we'd love to adopt again some day, though with a two-year-old, a one-year-old, and another on his way and an international move within the next year, maybe we'll wait it out a bit.

Baby ramblings, Part 1

Jonathan has recently taken off in talking.  He's not stringing words together yet so there haven't been many of those cute and funny baby talk moments yet, but he knows how to make the most of what he has.

Half an hour or so after putting the kids to bed tonight (and yes, they are now sleeping in the same room), I heard a plaintive little, "Mamma, mamma."  I went in to check on him.  Vivienne was in her crib, sound asleep, but Jonathan was standing up in his crib, wide awake.  The first thing he did was lift his arms to me and say "bao-bao" (the Chinese for pick me up and hold me).  Bedtime must be boring when your sister falls asleep first.  I turned on his CD and the little light mobile on the ceiling and told him that I wasn't going to get him up because it was time to sleep.  Immediately, he says, "da-da," followed by a really hopeful "ay-pah" (iPad).  When I said no to that, he went back to "da-da."  So I asked him if he wanted me to get daddy to come in and say "hi" to him.  He smiled and nodded.  I left and sent Stephen into him.  I'm guessing Jonathan tried the same "bao-bao" with daddy, because I could hear Stephen say, "No, Jonathan.  It's sleep-sleep time."  Immediately, "Mamma."  Finally, he asked Stephen for "book."  Last night I found a cheap little English book I had from my teaching days with Dora the Explorer (the love of his life, after Pocoyo and the iPad), and he wanted to go to bed with it last night and tonight.  Apparently, it had fallen down next to the crib, so Daddy rescued it and Jonathan is now contentedly "reading" to himself with sweet little murmurs.

Vivienne, too, is making progress on the linguistic development front.  She has been rather limited by the fact that she can pretty much only produce the "b" and the "d" sounds, so everyone is "da-da", including mommy, herself, Jonathan, and, of course, actual daddy.  It's usually pretty obvious from context who she is actually referring to, though.  Conversations with Vivienne go something like this.  Mommy will disappear into the bedroom, bathroom, or kitchen, and a voice will start up from behind the door, obviously calling to me.  "Da-da." 

I reply, "No, Mamma." 

"Da-da." 

"No, Mamma."  This usually goes on for several cycles before she gives up and goes back to Jonathan or daddy.

But tonight, it seems that Vivienne has doubled her phonemes.  In addition to, "da" and "ba," there were definite "ma"'s and "nah"'s.  I think at least once, she was actually saying "mamma" to me and not just randomly muttering.  Of course, she followed this immediately by pointing to Uncle Mike, who was over for a late-night visit, and saying "Mamma" quite clearly and distinctly.  Oh well.  It's progress.  She's definitely going to be a little talker like her brother (and her mother!) before we know it.

Now that they are both toddlers, daddy has his hands full!

About a boy ...

Originally, I wanted to post three times a month, but you can see how well that's going.  If I don't write tonight or tomorrow, January will be out altogether and then I may as well give up, so here it goes.

The babies are doing well, though I guess they are both clearly toddlers by now.  Jonathan's a little joy.

Our little joy of a boy

His new obsession is Dora the Explorer (which he calls "ba-ba" after the backpack character), but we only have one set of two DVD's (four episodes), so everyone in the house pretty much has them memorized by now.  And he's learning things from them.  Ever hear a two-year-old try to say "octagon"?  It's pretty cool.  "Oc-da-goy" or some such thing.  He mourns each closing credits, and does a happy dance of joy when the next opening song comes on.

My babies' new love

His vocabulary is definitely expanding, though you pretty much have to know what he's talking about beforehand to understand what he's saying.  There are a few exceptions.  He says the word "happy" clearly and precisely, which is a great word to know.  He's doing well on the important people in his life.  Nanny is "Nanna" (and, incidentally, so is "banana.")  Dada was the first person he could call, and every now and then he manages an actual "Daddy."  "Mamma" took him a while, but he's making up for lost time.  It seems he's gotten much more mommy-focused now that he can say my name.

Chinese has all sorts of words of siblings, depending on whether it's for a boy or girl and whether they are younger or older.  (If I remember correctly from our neighbors growing up, Korean is worse.  Then you have to take in account whether it's a boy or girl saying it.)  So, an older boy is called "gege" in Chinese, which is what Jonathan is called around the house and what he calls himself.  (To add to the confusion, though, he's "didi" -- younger brother -- to most kids on the playground because everyone uses family terms, not just actual family.)  It's not surprising that Jonathan has picked up on this as a self-designation, because "gege" is just so much easier to say than "Jonathan."  What's funny is that originally, he would call Vivienne "gege," too.  It took us a while to figure out that this was what he meant, but we have since gotten him to call her "mei-mei," the correct term for little sister.  I think he may have found it hard to distinguish his "mamma's" and his "mei-mei"'s at first, but he's doing better with it now.  Outside the family, he says "Ma-ai" for Uncle Mike, but that's pretty much it.  He likes the letter poster we have up in the living room.  For some reason, he knows the letter "Y".  He does seem to like that "ai" diphthong.  "Eye," "hi," and "bye" were among his very first words.  Anyway, we're waiting for any sentence beyond "Hi, da!" and "Bye, da!" (which are usually used for daddy but not always), but in the meantime, we're getting a kick out of Jonathan's ever-expanding vocabulary (though a few final consonants would be nice.)

Ge-ge helps his mei-mei with her coat zipper.

Escalators are one of his latest obsessions.  He's angry if we go to the mall and only one parent with a stroller is there so we have to take the elevator.  Actually, Stephen would just take the stroller on the escalator (even the double one) but mommy is not so brave.  (He started doing this because we would be in the MRT station and I would say "We need to find the elevator," but he would hear "escalator" since his British mind considers elevators to be "lifts."  Actually, he's only confused when they are both present.  If there are only elevators, he's fine with the term.)  The best place for escalators is the nearby department store -- which, thanks to Baskin Robbins, is also the best place for ice cream.  On a recent outing I took him there and let him choose his own flavor from the picture menu.  Now, Jonathan does not have a vast experience with ice cream flavors, but he zoned in immediately on the picture of the yellow scoop of lemon sherbet.  I tried to dissuade him since I wasn't sure the sourest flavor was really what he wanted, but he insisted.  I got him a taster spoon of it and he gobbled it up, so he got his own bowl of lemon sherbet, and I (and the lady next to me) got a kick out of watching him industriously eat the whole bowl.  Apparently, ice cream eating is serious business.  I feared we would learn what a "brain freeze" was, he was eating so fast, but he seemed to find only joy in that cup of sherbet.  (He also stole bites of mommy's mint chocolate chip since I was a slower eater, so I think maybe he's going to end up being an equal-opportunity ice-cream eater.)  It will be interesting to see if he still goes for the lemon next time we go or if it was a one-off deal.  It's watching how much joy he gets out of little things like lemon sherbet and escalators, pigeons and parrots, iPads and Dora, the moon and the stars, or even a simple little trip to 7-11 across the street that makes life with a two-year-old so much fun, albeit exhausting.  It's a big, beautiful world just waiting to be discovered, and it's nice to see it that way through his eyes.

Jonathan polishes off my mint chocolate chip (notice the
green on his forehead) after finishing his own lemon sherbet.

Well, I was going to write about Vivienne and the saga of trying to get her to sleep in a crib, but that will have to wait for another day -- or month.  Goodnight.