Dinner chez MDivGirl (a tutorial)

OK, so recently I've discovered the wonderful world of blogs, and in this world their exists a smaller world: the wonderful world of pictorial tutorials (nice bit of internal rhyme there).  I have never actually made anything by following ow, but they are so much fun to read and to dream about the things you could be making if you weren't a human jungle gym.  So, here is my first attempt at writing a tutorial myself: Open-Faced Toasted Cheese Sandwiches, MDivGirl-style (a.k.a. Dinner in the House of Craziness).

1.  Make sure it is well after midnight when you finally get around to talking about dinner.

OK, so this is when dinner was over,
 but you get the idea.  It was late.

2.  Lay out two slices of bread on the toaster oven tray.  Go to the other room to get your camera because the sudden urge to make a spoof tutorial has overtaken you.  Forget to close the kitchen door.  Rescue the toaster tray and bread slices from the toddler and baby, minus a little bite off the edge.  Lay them on the tray again.

If you don't have a readily-available toddler,
feel free to take a nibble out of  the bread yourself
so it looks like mine in the picture.

3. Spread the bread with some sort of spreadable cheese.  Pictured here are my and my husband's favorites (from Costco), but any will do.

Cheese spreads ...

... spread cheese

4. Cut some grape tomatoes into thirds lengthwise and place them on top of the spreadable cheese.  (Or, cut whatever tomatoes you have however you want to and put them on top of the spreadable cheese.)  Sprinkle with herbs.  (Heck.  Use fresh herbs if you want, but I'm doing well just having a dried Italian spice mix from Costco.)

Before ...

... after.

5.  Glance at your children who are lurking outside the glass kitchen door.  Notice the toddler is feeding his sister the bread slice you gave him to pacify him back in step 2 when you stole back your bread slices.  Or rather, that the toddler, in keeping with his latest toddler phase, did not eat the bit of bread you gave him but rather ripped it up in small pieces and spit the partially chewed bits out on the floor which his sister is now eating.  Substitute with something more baby-friendly, like "stars" (a.k.a. Gerber Graduates Puffs.)

Vivienne and her stars

outside the kitchen door ...

... a.k.a. Gerber's Puffs

6.  Return to kitchen.  Cut up slices of a more melty-cheese for the top.  I used up the last of the Brie and sliced string cheese, neither of which really melt (and both from Costco), but you can do better than that, I'm sure.  (Although, for not actually melting, these taste great, so if you have them, go for it.)  Sprinkle some pepper and parmesan cheese on top.  (I'm sure real would be even better than the stuff in the green jar.)

Ready to go in.

My not-so-melty cheeses.

7.  Put in the toaster oven for five minutes or so.  Go deal with the worst nasty nappy/dirty diaper the baby has had in a really long time.  (No picture available.  I'm sure you're disappointed.)  Check on the toasted cheese sandwiches.  Put it on for another three minutes or so while the baby nurses to recover from the trauma she suffered having her nappy changed.  Finally get around to taking out the slices and put on plates.

Coming out of the oven.
Notice the non-melted state
of my non-melty cheese.

These are plates.  Or dishes.
Or shallow bowls?  Not sure really.

8. Optional step: Drink.  (One day before)  Brew a cup of your favorite tea.  (My personal favorite is Jordan Pond Tea from Acadia National Park that my mother sends me most years, but use what you like.)  Go take care of your baby and never go back to the kitchen.  Notice the tea sitting on the counter the next night and drink a few sips during steps 1 - 9.  Take what's left and throw it in a cup with a capful of lemon juice concentrate and a few ice cubes.  Take it out to the living room and put it next to your pretty looking sandwich for your toddler to admire.

Poor, abandoned tea

Now we're ready, huh.

Jonathan stakes his claim.
He thinks that all drinks belong first and foremost to him.

9.  Eat the toasted cheese slices.  Or, rather, watch your husband enjoy his (even though, as he points out, they'd be better with some ham).  Watch your toddler pick at yours, only to have him spit out what he eats.  Pick up your toast to save it from your toddler.  Watch your toddler sneak off to the other side of the table with your cup of tea while you are busy with the toast.  Watch him continue past the end of the table and drop your tea on the floor.  Be glad that it mostly fell on Daddy's (dark colored) shirt that was waiting for new buttons.  Pick up the glass with a tiny bit left in it.  Watch the toddler try it and reject it ('cause remember, it's bitter tea and sour lemon with no sugar added).  Drink the one sip of ice tea that remains and realize that really, you're not missing much since it was reconstituted lemon juice and not real lemon anyway.  Give up eating together.  Grab your toasted cheese and retreat to the bedroom to begin your blog.

Happy daddy enjoys his sandwich
despite the lack of meat.

Jonathan's one sip

10. Many hours later, after bedtime and nursing and other such things, pour yourself a glass of ice tea from the bottle, find the last Mint Milano and enjoy.  Whew.  No wonder we usually eat out/get take-away.

Mmm ... Costco to the rescue again.

Vivienne eyes mommy's snack.

All's well that ends well ... and what better end to a diner tale can there be than cookies?  And so ...

A cookie of her own.

THE END